Book Review — The Two-Parent Privilege by Melissa S. Kearney

Yesterday, I finished “The Two-Parent Privilege: How Americans Stopped Getting Married and Started Falling Behind” by Melissa S. Kearney. Kearney is a Professor of Economics at the University of Maryland. The book was published in 2023.

I understand how you may feel about the title of this book. I felt the same. I have had the book on my radar for a while and every time I look at it, I wonder if this book is actually blaming people from fleeing toxic and life-threatening relationships. I would want to start and then think again, going for another book instead. However, after turning the last page, I would say this is one of those books I am likely to remember in my old age and say I was glad I read.

Melissa S. Kearney’s The Two-Parent Privilege tackles one of the most significant yet often avoided topics in modern American society: how the decline of two-parent households is contributing to widening inequality and diminished economic mobility. Kearney, a distinguished economist, presents a deeply researched and data-driven examination of how family structures impact children, families, and society at large.

Don’t let the book’s America-centeredness deceive you. I have looked at the data and this is a worrying trend globally. So, as you read, understand that it is more or less a worldwide problem and of particular importance to your society.

Kearney begins by addressing what many policy discussions overlook: family structure. As she explains, while conversations about poverty and inequality often center on education, taxation, and job creation, the breakdown of the two-parent family is an equally critical driver of inequality. Her assertion is striking: “Two parents in a household mean more resources — financial, emotional, and time — for children. The absence of this structure doesn’t just affect individual families; it perpetuates societal divides.” What’s sad is that for ideological and perceived moral reasons, policymakers are hesitant to talk about this problem.

Over the last 40 years, the share of children living with married parents in the U.S. has declined dramatically, dropping from 77% in 1980 to just 63% in 2019. This shift, Kearney argues, is not equally distributed across society. College-educated parents are far more likely to marry and raise their children together, while non-college-educated parents are increasingly raising children alone. For example, in 2019, 84% of children with college-educated mothers lived in two-parent households, compared to just 60% of children whose mothers had only a high school diploma.

The book’s central thesis is that this growing “marriage gap” exacerbates income inequality. Children from two-parent households, regardless of the educational achievements of their parents, often enjoy better schools, safer neighborhoods, and more stability. In contrast, single-parent households, also regardless of the attainment of their single parents, though often heroic in their efforts, face greater economic challenges and fewer resources to devote to their children. Kearney’s data show that children from single-parent families are less likely to graduate high school, attend college, or achieve economic success as adults, perpetuating a cycle of disadvantage.

As Kearney puts it, “Family structure is not the only factor in inequality, but it’s a major one that we cannot afford to ignore. A stable family life is one of the most reliable predictors of a child’s future success.”

Kearney is careful to avoid moralizing, emphasizing that her arguments are rooted in economics and data, not ideology. She explicitly states that her goal is not to disparage single parents (something I found tiresome because she kept repeating as if she is being apologetic for exposing what the data says) but to highlight how the structure of families affects societal outcomes. Her tone is empathetic, as she acknowledges the many reasons parents may not marry, including economic instability and social norms.

For instance, Kearney explores how the decline of stable, well-paying jobs — particularly for men without college degrees — has contributed to the erosion of marriage. This economic shift has made it harder for many families to achieve the stability that marriage historically provided.

One of the book’s most compelling points is the unique advantages conferred by two-parent households. Kearney describes marriage as an “economic partnership,” where shared resources and responsibilities create a foundation for raising children. Many people think cohabitation is as valid as marriage, but that’s what data says. Cohabitation, while often seen as an alternative, lacks the long-term stability of marriage in the U.S. context, where cohabitating relationships tend to dissolve at higher rates than marriages. Marriages provides that extra layer that no other family structure gives.

Reading the book, I ended up feeling sorry for boys in today’s society. Boys from single-parent households are more likely to struggle in school, face disciplinary issues, and encounter challenges in adulthood, contributing to broader societal issues like crime and unemployment. Boys, in particular, benefit significantly from having a father figure in the home, and even better from seeing successful and grounded father figures in their neighbourhoods. Now, I can see the correlation between single households and all these incels and 4chan chants gaining widespread popularity on the web. It’s a worrying trend that should have you concerned.

Btw, the widespread belief that if you are wealthy, you can raise a child alone is so so misguided. Tip: Money, and the things you think you can buy with them, is not the only thing you child needs. It might not even be the most important thing you child needs. So, there is that.

Kearney’s arguments are not just compelling, she put forward several solutions including targeted policies to support families, expanding economic opportunities for less-educated adults and providing greater support for single parents. However, having read up till that point, you wonder if her proposals are sufficient given the scale of the problem.

‘The Two-Parent Privilege’ is the kind of book I want to give to every newly-married couples. It is an essential read for anyone concerned with inequality and social mobility. Kearney’s evidence-based approach avoids ideological pitfalls, focusing instead on the practical realities of family life and its implications for children and society.

In the end, Kearney’s message is clear: while policy reforms in education, labor, and taxation are vital, we cannot ignore the role of family structure in shaping opportunities for the next generation. As she warns, “If we fail to address the growing divide in family structure, inequality will continue to deepen, and the American dream will slip further out of reach for millions.”

‘The Two-Parent Privilege’ isn’t here to make anyone feel bad about their situation. It’s not a moral sermon. It’s just cold, hard facts: kids in two-parent households have advantages we can no longer ignore, and the growing gap in family structures is making inequality worse for our society and world.